Perfectionism as Protection: How a Childhood Trauma Therapist in Falls Church, VA, Helps You Let Go of Old Coping Patterns
Hmm, let me guess…you were a pleasure to have in class, right? You made sure you took care of everything and you executed it to perfection…I mean, DUH. What else were you going to do?
But while you have spent years meticulously being the one in the group project who ran the show, or the one who planned every outing or party, you slowly noticed yourself getting annoyed, resentful, and exhausted.
The perfectionism is finally draining you. Turns out the extremes of your perfectionism and burnout aren’t sustainable. And guess what else? They are also protecting you from delving into the very real emotions and pain of your childhood trauma. As a childhood trauma therapist in Falls Church, VA, I’m here to talk more about it and about how online trauma therapy can help.
Perfectionism as protection eventually expires
Being a self-reliant, go-getting pleasure to have in class meant you stayed out of everyone’s way…especially an unpredictable, volatile, emotionally immature parent’s way. Maybe it made you seem responsible and got you praise, which in turn also helped you avoid anger, rage, and fits of criticism. But now, navigating challenges and feeling capable and confident in your abilities feels impossible.
Perfectionism means: When things go wrong, you have no clue how to recover
It feels like the world is ending when you “fail,” and “failing” can be any number of things for you, from making a spelling mistake in an email to forgetting someone’s name. You don’t offer yourself a lot of room for grace and forgiveness. This means that an inner critical voice shows up, saying hurtful things about you. You may ruminate about your “failures” for a very, very long time, and you struggle to ask for and receive help.
How Childhood Trauma Therapy Addresses Perfectionism
Perfectionism keeps you safe, but when it cracks, the intensity of your anxiety, sadness, and anger really shines…and they can be big and scary.
In childhood trauma therapy, we build something called your window of tolerance. Everyone has a window of tolerance, which is a range in which you remain connected to yourself as you navigate the world. It does not mean you are just calm. It means that you can experience other emotions while also noticing them and working through them (Ex, oh, I am feeling sad right now, and when I am sad I need to take some breaths, sit down, talk to my friend, or pet my cat, etc). When we leave our window of tolerance, we can become extremely distressed and triggered, which is what can happen when you make an error, make someone else upset, or are unable to tackle all of your responsibilities “perfectly.”
Childhood trauma therapy offers reparenting and learning the skills of navigating successes and failures together.
Together with me, a childhood trauma therapist in Falls Church, VA, we work on experiencing anger, anxiety, and sadness in your body. This is so that when these emotions arise, your body is less overwhelmed and incapacitated by them. We also practice grounding skills so that you are able to offer yourself the ability to identify when something big and scary is happening and then soothe yourself. In this way, you become your own internal parent. Through this journey at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, you gain more capability, providing yourself with guidance and gradually learning that mistakes can become learning opportunities—that you are not responsible for being perfect for everyone all the time. Your body can be safe in new ways now.
Get Started In Childhood Trauma Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we offer compassionate, trauma-informed support to help you rebuild a sense of safety, reconnect with your strength, and rediscover who you are.
Here is how to begin your journey:
Click below to book your complimentary 15-minute consultation call.
Fill out the brief pre-consultation form.
Meet with compassionate trauma therapist Alice Zic to discuss your needs.
Begin the journey healing from childhood trauma with childhood trauma therapy in Falls Church, VA.
Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Online therapy is a fantastic way to get started with childhood trauma therapy. It also makes it easier to find a good therapeutic fit for you without having to worry about who is in your immediate geographic vicinity. As a therapist licensed in Virginia, I am able and trained to work with clients located in and residing throughout the state of Virginia. All you need is your private space, internet, and your device, and you can make online therapy work for you. No stressful traffic—it’s simple and easy! Get started with a free consult call below:
Other Online Therapy Services We Offer at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
Beyond our focus on childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy offers virtual therapy for concerns such as teen anxiety and the ongoing impact of parentification. Whether you are managing imposter syndrome or recovering from people-pleasing anxiety, we provide a compassionate, judgment-free space for healing—available to you in Connecticut, Virginia, and soon to residents of Louisiana (stay tuned for updates soon!)
About Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Therapist in Falls Church, VA & Colchester, CT
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and Virginia. She is a trauma therapist who specializes in helping mother wounded women with perfectionism heal their childhood traumas and reparent into confident, capable adults. Alice is an attachment-based therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a trauma-informed and evidence-based modality that supports healing the mind and body, while also allowing for reparenting critical and hurt parts of you. This focus supports releasing the pressure of perfectionism from clients’ lives, allowing folx to move through the world with more peace and permission. If you would like to learn more about Alice, please click here. If you would like to work with Alice, please click here to schedule your free consult call today.