Still Trying to Earn Love? How Mother Wound Therapy in Falls Church, VA, Helps You Break Old Patterns
Every interaction feels like a performance. You have to calculate the right time, the right conditions, the right mood that another person is in, and then MAYBE you will bring up your thought or question. Maybe if it is the perfect timing when you speak, they will like you and everything will be okay.
But hang on: that people-pleasing anxiety goes way back, doesn’t it?
That stressful anticipation when communicating with others has been going on for a long time. It almost feels…young. The reality is, you have probably been operating this way out of necessity from a very young age. At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we offer mother wound therapy in Falls Church, VA, that can help.
People-pleasing Started as Parent-pleasing
People-pleasing does not just pop out of nowhere. If you grew up mother wounded, you were likely tiptoeing around your mom. At any moment, she could be sad, angry, cruel—essentially, her moods were unpredictable. And for you, the pressure to keep her calm was on. People-pleasing is often defined as a survival response: when your body unconsciously detects a threat, you placate the threat to diminish that threat. If you did this with a mother you loved, but you were also scared of, chances are that this is also a way that your body understands that this is an effective strategy for calming external threats.
But that doesn’t mean that it feels good.
What is a Mother Wound?
A mother wound is a lack of mothering. It develops when you are raised by an emotionally immature mother. This may be a mom who was neglectful, highly critical, controlling, entitled, self-absorbed, passive, and/or emotionally, physically, and/or sexually abusive. Mother wounds are also marked by a lack of the following qualities in your relationship: delight, curiosity, nurture, guidance, structure, and protection.
Learning to relate to such an important figure in your life at such an important time of your life changes the way your brain and body function. It also means that when you sense anxiety, uncertainty, anger, and mood changes in others, you shift into people-pleasing or into earning love. It feels like you are never sure and trusting of the world around you and your relationships. As a trauma therapist, I understand how that can feel both lonely and scary.
From Focusing Externally to Trusting Yourself Internally
Childhood trauma therapy that focuses on healing your mother wound shifts your external people-pleasing response out of survival mode and into thriving mode. Earning love is likely an automatic, unconscious need that you have (after all, you are in survival mode!). Part of trauma therapy involves creating an environment of safety and trust so that you can pull back and observe this part of you with compassion. By getting to know this response, by treating it with kindness and less judgment, it opens the door to providing the parts of you love and kindness that they needed in new, empathic, and thoughtful ways. In doing this healing work in childhood trauma therapy, you are able to remove the power and stress from this people-pleasing part of you and, instead, move through the world empowered, confident, and filled with self-love.
Get Started In Childhood Trauma Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we offer compassionate, trauma-informed support to help you rebuild a sense of safety, reconnect with your strength, and rediscover who you are.
Here’s how to begin your journey:
Click below to book your complimentary 15-minute consultation call.
Fill out the brief pre-consultation form.
Meet with compassionate trauma therapist Alice Zic to discuss your needs.
Begin the journey healing from childhood trauma with childhood trauma therapy.
Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Childhood trauma therapy can be JUST as effective online as in person! As a therapist licensed in Virginia, I am able and trained to work with clients located and residing throughout the state of Virginia. All you need is your private space, internet, and your device, and you can make online therapy work for you. No stressful traffic—it’s simple and easy! Get started with a free consult call below:
Other Services We Offer at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
Beyond our focus on childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy offers virtual therapy for concerns such as teen anxiety and the ongoing impact of parentification. Whether you’re managing emotional overwhelm or learning to create stronger boundaries, we provide a compassionate, judgment-free space for healing—available to you wherever you live.
About Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Trauma Therapist in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and Virginia. She is a trauma therapist who specializes in helping mother wounded women heal their childhood traumas and reparent into confident, capable adults. Alice is an attachment-based therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a trauma-informed and evidence-based modality that supports healing the mind and body, while also allowing for reparenting wounded and, critical, and hurt parts of you. Alice uses IFS in conjunction with other trauma-focused techniques, including elements of ego states therapy. Ego states therapy supports building internal skills and nurture towards yourself as you work towards reparenting. If you would like to learn more about Alice, please click here. If you would like to work with Alice, please click here to schedule your free consult call today.