Perfectionism Isn’t About Pride—It’s About Fear: A Trauma Therapist in Falls Church, VA Explains Why You Push So Hard
You have to get it right. I mean, let’s be real, you’re usually on top of your stuff anyways, but if you don’t get it right, take care of every last minute detail, then what?
You have always been the “mom” of the friend group, the A+ student, the one who grinds at work, and while you have success on the outside or laugh off the “mom” identity, it doesn’t feel so glamorous on the inside.
Your perfectionism is eating you alive. As a trauma therapist in Falls Church, VA, I’m here to break it down further.
Perfectionism is a Mask Backed by Perceived Threat
Why is your perfectionism so powerful?
It probably goes back to childhood. Making mistakes probably led to shaming, criticism, or punishments, which is typical if you grew up with a highly critical or emotionally immature parent. If you kept your parent(s) calm and happy, if they did not see your flaws, if you had it all together, or even took care of them, everything would be okay. Their criticism would be more predictable or quieted for a while. And that is an enormous amount of frightening pressure to put on a child.
However, it is not just about quieting the anger and the criticism; it is also about hiding the real you.
As long as you were perfect, not making mistakes, not getting angry, and not making anyone else angry, you also stayed invisible. The real you, the one with needs, wants, genuine highs and lows simply faded into the background. There was an external, masked perfect you and then the internal you: struggling, silent, and unsure of how to ask for help.
These can be ways to survive chaos and unpredictability: perfectionism helps you avoid danger; it keeps you safe, until it exhausts and drains you.
Perfectionism Does Not Have to Rule Your Life Forever
Together with me in childhood trauma therapy, we can explore how and when your perfectionism shows up. We can bring compassion towards your perfectionism in that it has likely given you many gifts: discipline, attention to detail, success, etc. And, at the same time, we can tenderly explore the fearful and wounded roots of your perfectionism, noticing the associated worries and hurts that it tries to prevent from overwhelming you. At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we support you in building a greater ability to observe when you feel the fears of perfectionism well up in you. Additionally, we support you in building your toolkit for soothing your mind and body with new strategies. This is to help you navigate and move through the world with renewed empowerment and ease.
Move Forward with Childhood Trauma Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we offer trauma-informed, compassionate support to help you rebuild a sense of safety, reconnect with your resilience, and rediscover your authentic self. Healing takes time—but you don’t have to walk that path on your own.
Here’s how to begin your journey:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation using the link below.
Fill out a brief pre-consultation form so we can better understand your story and goals.
Meet with trauma therapist Alice Zic to explore how therapy can nurture your healing process.
Start your recovery with gentle, supportive childhood trauma therapy that helps you feel safe, grounded, and whole again.
Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Starting online therapy can be a comfortable and accessible way to begin your healing journey. As a licensed therapist in Virginia, I offer virtual childhood trauma therapy for clients across the state, providing professional support wherever you are. All you need is a private space, a reliable internet connection, and your device—it’s therapy made simple, flexible, and stress-free.
Skip the traffic and get the care you deserve from the comfort of home. Schedule your free consultation call below to get started.
Additional Online Therapy Services at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
In addition to our work with childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy offers virtual therapy for teen anxiety and emotional well-being. Whether you’re navigating the effects of parentification, supporting your teen through emotional overwhelm, or healing from childhood neglect, we provide a safe, nonjudgmental space for growth and recovery. Our online sessions are available to clients in Connecticut, Virginia, and Louisiana, making compassionate care accessible wherever you are.
About Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Trauma Therapist in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker based in New Orleans, Louisiana, providing online therapy across Louisiana, Connecticut, and Virginia. She will soon be offering in-person sessions in New Orleans—stay tuned for updates!
Alice is a trauma therapist who specializes in helping perfectionist, mother-wounded women heal from childhood trauma and rediscover their confidence, worth, and capacity for self-compassion. As an attachment-based therapist trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), she uses this trauma-informed, evidence-based approach to support deep mind-body healing. IFS allows clients to gently reconnect with, and reparent, the wounded, fearful, or critical parts of themselves with understanding and care.
If you’d like to learn more about Alice, click here.
To begin working with her, click here to schedule your free consultation call today.