When You Were the Parent Instead of the Child: Childhood Trauma Therapy in Falls Church, VA for Parentified Adults
You have always been “the responsible one.” It has been both a special, validating title and a sore spot. Sometimes you are only seen when you are the responsible caretaker, but that’s just it…it’s the only time you are seen. The truth is, you are so much more than what you do and provide for others, regardless of what the pressure and guilt you feel tell you. However, growing up parentified taught you a different story.
What are some of the ways it affected you, and how can childhood trauma therapy in Falls Church, VA, help you now?
What is Parentification?
Parentification is a role reversal in which a child in a family system takes on an adult role before it is developmentally appropriate to do so.
Examples of parentification include:
Providing logistical care/support.
cooking, cleaning, paying bills, language interpretation, health care navigation, tax prep.
Providing emotional care and support to younger parents(and/or siblings).
acting like a parent’s parent, acting like a parent’s best friend, and being criticized or punished when not meeting the expectations of this role.
When adults in a family are emotionally immature, have high external stress, and unmet internal needs, they are less able to look at their children as their children. This means that the skills and space to offer delight, curiosity, guidance, protection, and nurture are not very available. Instead, adults in these situations look to their children as equals, turning to their children to meet their needs.
How Does Parentification Change Your Brain and Body?
Soothing, feeling cared for, asking for help, and easing your anxiety—they all feel impossible. In short, the ability to feel grounded and regulated, or like you have limits, is never there. Why? Because you were always on edge, hypervigilant, or looking out for the next thing to do, chore to complete, and person to care for. You grew up in survival mode, so now when you see possible signs of danger, your brain and body try to keep you safe by kicking in your high-stress survival responses. The thing is, the signals can sometimes get crossed, there is no active threat, and you wind up feeling overwhelmed on the other side.
How Does Parentification Affect Your Relationships?
You exist and move through life in a constant performance: operating as a highly functioning, perfectionist caregiver, always there for everyone. But parentification also means that no one knows or sees the true you. When you need something, feel down or upset, you don’t know how to share those feelings. You feel like a burden for opening up to someone. And because it all gets bottled up, because no one sees the genuine side of you, you eventually get exhausted, burnt out, and resentful. This can lead to isolation, avoidance, and ghosting others.
Childhood Trauma Therapy: Allowing You to Reparent
Childhood trauma therapy takes a very intentional approach to build safety in your body in order to experience regulation and soothing. Through this approach, you partner with your trauma therapist to gently tune into your brain and body, learn your body’s signals/warning signals (sensations and feelings) so that you can better identify and move through emotional experiences without feeling incapacitated or overwhelmed by them. Childhood trauma therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy also supports you in reparenting, or giving yourself the skills of delight, protection, and nurture. This is so that you can give yourself greater self-love and therefore also be in a relationship with others in a way that feels fulfilling instead of terrifying.
Get Started In Childhood Trauma Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we provide gentle, trauma-informed care designed to help you restore a sense of safety, tap into your inner strength, and reconnect with your authentic self. Our goal is to walk beside you as you begin the process of healing and rediscovery.
Here’s how to get started:
Click below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call.
Complete the short pre-consultation form.
Meet with trauma therapist Alice Zic to share your story and explore your goals.
Take the first steps toward recovery with childhood trauma therapy, creating space for growth and lasting change.
Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Online therapy is a fantastic way to get started with childhood trauma therapy. As a therapist licensed in Virginia, I am able and trained to work with clients located in and residing throughout the state of Virginia. All you need is your private space, internet, and your device, and you can make online therapy work for you. No stressful traffic—it’s simple and easy! Get started with a free consult call below:
Additional Online Therapy Options at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
While we have a strong focus on childhood trauma, we also provide virtual counseling for concerns like teen anxiety. Whether you or your teen is coping with the effects of parentification, navigating emotional overwhelm, or healing from childhood neglect, our therapists create a safe, nonjudgmental environment where growth and recovery can begin. Online sessions are currently available to clients in Connecticut and Virginia—and we’ll soon be expanding services to Louisiana as well.
About Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Therapist in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and Virginia. She is a trauma therapist who specializes in helping perfectionist, mother wounded women heal from childhood trauma and parentification and reparent into confident, capable adults. Alice is an attachment-based therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a trauma-informed and evidence-based modality that supports healing the mind and body, while also allowing for reparenting wounded and, critical, and hurt parts of you. Alice uses IFS in conjunction with other trauma-focused techniques, including elements of ego states therapy. Ego states therapy supports building internal skills and nurture towards yourself as you work towards reparenting. If you would like to learn more about Alice, please click here. If you would like to work with Alice, please click here to schedule your free consult call today.