When Your Inner Critic Sounds Like Your Mom: Reparenting and Mother Wound Therapy in Falls Church, VA
Every time you make a mistake, you hear it: “Why did you do that? How could you be so stupid? You look like a fool. You are embarrassing yourself and everyone else! You are a shame to the family!”
It is unbelievably harsh. But the most painful part? These words did not come out of nowhere. You heard them constantly growing up. From your mom. And now, you are terrified of trying new things, of making anyone upset or angry, and worst of all? You are terrified of failing.
This is the kind of lingering pain that mother wound therapy is designed to help you unpack and heal.
What is an inner critic?
An inner critic is a part of you, kind of like a bully that lives in your brain. It’s that little voice you hear that usually says unkind, mean, and hurtful phrases. It usually is automatic and painful. And typically, it comes from phrases you heard throughout your life, most notably as a child.
If you are someone who grew up with an emotionally immature mom and identify as mother wounded, chances are you notice an inner critic show up frequently. It may also show up whenever you want to be vulnerable, to take up space, and to feel joy. Essentially, it seems like your inner critic squashes you a lot.
What is a mother wound?
A mother wound is a lack of mothering. This lack of mothering may stem from a mom who was neglectful, highly critical, controlling, entitled, self-absorbed, passive, and/or emotionally, physically, and/or sexually abusive. Growing up, you also would have lacked elements such as delight, curiosity, nurture, guidance, structure, and protection within your relationship with your mother.
Reparenting: Becoming Your Own Internal Mother
Childhood trauma therapy that specializes in healing the mother wound builds compassion towards the parts of you that were necessary to survive in an environment where your emotional needs (and possibly physical needs) were unmet. Along with building internal safety and increased trust towards you and the world around you, mother wound therapy works on something else that makes healing effective over the long term: reparenting.
What is reparenting?
Reparenting is an element of trauma therapy that provides you with the resources, skills, capacities, and capabilities to return to yourself the emotional support that was denied to you during childhood. As a trauma therapist in Falls Church, VA, I’ve seen how powerful this process can be in fostering deep healing and self-compassion.
How does reparenting work in mother wound therapy?
In mother wound therapy, reparenting is focused on building your compassion towards yourself and building your internal resources to have your own internal mother. In childhood, you did not have the maternal presence that you craved to delight in you, to nurture you, and to help protect you and set boundaries. Some of building your internal mother involves working with the inner critic: while it is a hurtful voice, can you build some curiosity towards it? Understand what it is afraid of? What makes it get so loud and block out everything else? And, on the flip side, how can we support you in exploring the playful parts of childhood that you missed out on? Some of this work may involve you imagining what a protective, nurturing maternal figure would sound like and how it would talk to you. And, as we build this skill, this part of you begins to offer more and more self-compassion, confidence, and self-love.
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, this gentle reparenting process is supported with care, intention, and deep respect for your unique healing journey.
Start Therapy and Reparent Your Mother Wound at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
Click the button below to book your free 15-minute consultation phone call.
Complete the pre-consult questions.
Consult with trauma therapist Alice Zic.
Begin your journey toward healing your mother wound with childhood trauma therapy.
Online Mother Wound Therapy in Falls Church, Virginia
My virtual practice is located in Falls Church, Virginia, but as a licensed trauma therapist, I offer therapy to residents of Virginia throughout the entire state! This means that, when looking for a mother wound expert, you do not have to worry about travel time. You can join your sessions right from the ease and comfort of your home. It is simple and easy! Book your free intro call below to get started!
Broader Therapy Services in Falls Church, VA & Colchester, CT
Beyond our core work with childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy offers virtual support for issues like parentification trauma and anxiety in teens. Our goal is to create a safe, empathetic space where clients can start their healing journey, strengthen boundaries, and navigate stress with greater confidence, from wherever they are.
About Alice Zic, Licensed Trauma Therapist in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic is a licensed trauma therapist in Connecticut and Virginia. She is a mother wound therapist who helps adult daughters of emotionally immature mothers resolve the confusion and hurt from their past and lean into a more peaceful future. Alice is an attachment-based therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a trauma-informed and evidence-based modality that supports healing the mind and body, while also allowing for reparenting. If you would like to learn more about Alice, please click here. If you would like to work with Alice, please click here to schedule your free consult call today.