When You Feel Motherless Even With a Mother: Exploring Emotional Neglect in Therapy in Falls Church, VA
Your mom was in your life. Your basic needs were met. And yet…she does not feel like someone you can turn to, talk to about your problems, rely on, or, to be honest, trust.
There are days when it feels like (when you dare to think it) you don’t even have a mom. Why does it feel this way? We explore questions like this through trauma therapy in Falls Church, VA.
What is emotional neglect?
Emotional neglect is the absence of love, nurture, attunement, and support. Emotional neglect can happen with or without physical neglect. In other words, your basic needs may have been met, but your emotional needs were ignored.
As a trauma therapist, I’m here to tell you that neglect is a type of childhood trauma, too. It’s not just “being too sensitive” or being “too much,” regardless of what you were told, time and time again.
But nothing happened
You keep saying, “But nothing actually HAPPENED to me,” but did you feel seen, heard, or cared for? Did you have someone to go to when you needed help or when you had a problem? When you needed something or felt scared, were you able to bring up these worries to your mom?
What is attunement?
Attunement is the ability to sense, understand, react, and respond to another person’s emotions by tuning into someone’s needs with curiosity. It is a critical element of connection and bonding in relationships, especially between parents and children.
When our needs are neglected, or when we are made to feel small, invisible, or insignificant during the most important developmental years of our lives, it can contribute to relational wounds—one type of childhood trauma. This can mean that you felt emotionally insecure or struggled with trusting that you could rely on others to care for and protect you.
The ‘Gilmore Girls’ Fantasy and Chasing the High of The Best Friend/Savior
Despite the fact that mom was always physically present, you grew up feeling deeply, unspeakably lonely. And no matter how hard you tried to explain, you could never get others to “just understand.” You watched Gilmore Girls thinking, “Oh my god, I wish I could have a mom like that!” You wanted a best friend, a confidante. (Except, let me tell you, that show is not so idyllic after all)
Feeling lonely meant you wanted someone to see you and get you. Sometimes, you admit it, you wanted to be rescued. The truth is, this is an old childhood wound. Emotional neglect leaves scars that spill out into your other relationships. When someone does not immediately understand your fullest self, hear you, or agree with you, it leaves you feeling isolated and abandoned.
How Childhood Trauma Therapy Can Help You Heal Emotional Neglect
Trauma therapy in Falls Church, VA, builds your ability to learn and relearn the skills of attunement. This happens by building your awareness and language for emotions, sensations connected to those emotions, and the ability to regulate and connect to your needs when you are moving through the world. Rather than neglecting your wants and needs, you develop tools for self-soothing, giving yourself the care and nurture that was not given to you in childhood. In this manner, you also become your own internal mother and learn to reparent yourself. At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, help is available to support you through the reparenting process.
Get Started In Childhood Trauma Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we provide caring, trauma-informed therapy designed to help you restore safety, reconnect with your inner strength, and reclaim your sense of self.
Here’s how you can get started:
Book a free 15-minute consultation call using the link below.
Complete a short pre-consultation form to share your needs and goals.
Meet with trauma therapist Alice Zic for a supportive conversation about your next steps.
Begin healing from childhood trauma with therapy tailored to your journey.
Explore Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Starting therapy online can be a powerful first step toward healing from childhood trauma. As a licensed therapist in Virginia, I work with clients across the state through secure, virtual sessions. All you need is a private space, internet connection, and a device—and you can access therapy from the comfort of home. No commuting or traffic, just simple and supportive care. Begin today with a free consultation call below:
Additional Therapy Services at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
In addition to our work with childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy provides virtual therapy for teen anxiety across CT, VA, and LA, as well as in-person sessions in New Orleans. Whether you’re coping with the lasting effects of parentification, supporting a teen through emotional overwhelm, or working to heal from childhood neglect, we offer a compassionate, nonjudgmental space for growth and recovery—accessible to clients in Connecticut, Virginia, and Louisiana.
Learn About Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Therapist in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker based in New Orleans who also provides online therapy for clients in Louisiana, Connecticut, and Virginia. She specializes in helping women heal from childhood trauma, particularly those carrying perfectionism or mother wounds, and supports them in becoming confident, empowered adults.
Alice practices from an attachment-based perspective and is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a trauma-informed and evidence-based approach that integrates mind and body healing while offering opportunities to reparent the wounded, critical, and hurt parts within. Alongside IFS, she draws from trauma-focused modalities, including ego states therapy, which emphasizes developing internal resources and self-compassion.
Through her compassionate style and specialized training, Alice helps clients move from survival toward growth and resilience. If you’d like to learn more about her approach, click here. To begin working with Alice, schedule your free consultation call today.