What Is IFS Therapy? Understanding the Power of Parts Work in Falls Church, VA
It’s not working. The tips and tricks that you read in books, that you see on Instagram, or TikTok. That you have tried in therapy before. WELL. WHY NOT?
When you do something, you do it all the way. You are a perfectionist, after all. You work hard. So there is a huge amount of dissonance going on between you practicing all the coping strategies and Not. Feeling. Better.
When it comes to the healing process, it works a little bit differently than, for example, studying for a test. You have a logical part of you that likes to learn skills, practice, and probably “get over it.” And you have the emotional part of you that holds younger wounds that you have carried for a long time. The logical part of you has probably tuned a lot of this out, and the key is to eventually slow down and quiet all the things the logical part of you is doing so that you can finally access the emotional part of you. This is where a valuable tool in trauma therapy, like Internal Family Systems, comes into play.
What is IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is a trauma-informed and evidence-based therapy that helps individuals heal by exploring and understanding different parts of themselves.
IFS therapy looks at your internal world as if it were a family: in a family, there are different roles. So, through IFS Therapy, we explore your internal self as though it has different roles too, typically called parts. There are many parts of you, each working together, needing and doing something important to keep you safe in the world. You may have a hard-working part, a sarcastic part, a numbing part, an angry part, a depressed part, etc. There may be times when these parts can really help you make friends, do well at work or school, and be successful. There may be other times when they inhibit or suppress big emotions, or when they overwhelm you or almost feel like they are getting in your way.
IFS Therapy emphasizes building curiosity, capacity, capability, and reparenting through non-judgment and compassion. In this way, the therapist supports you in gaining awareness of your parts and restoring to you the power to operate from a place of empowerment and feel less incapacitated and less overwhelmed by your most hurt and wounded parts and memories.
Who is IFS Therapy for?
IFS therapy is powerful and beneficial for a lot of folx. IFS Therapy is a good therapeutic modality for those who have survived and/or want to heal from:
Childhood trauma, including physical abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, and/or emotional abuse and neglect.
Sexual assault.
History of interpersonal violence.
Parentification trauma, or the experience of having grown up too fast or having taken on the role of a parent during childhood.
Narcissistic abuse.
Codependency.
High-functioning anxiety.
Generational trauma and/or the impact of immigration.
Perfectionism.
Imposter syndrome.
Cultural trauma.
Mother wounds.
Attachment wounds.
Loss of identity or identity confusion.
IFS can be particularly impactful for those who have had disempowering experiences, both in relationships and through systems that oppress and coerce. Because IFS takes a systemic and relational approach to how you view your internal and external world, you also explore your internal narratives, including those that have been abusive and oppressive. Through exploring these (and your strengths), you dismantle what does not serve you and instead form narratives that center you in your story.
What Makes IFS Therapy so Powerful for Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma often involves multiple incidents over time: multiple incidents of hurt, harm, and neglect. Because of this complexity, there can be many deep emotions calling for your attention and compassion, and there can be many wounded parts holding all of these past hurts, feeling uncertain as to how to process, sit with, and hold the complexity of these wounds and emotions.
What Sets IFS Apart from Other Therapy Modalities?
IFS therapy is powerful because it supports you in being able to get in touch with discomfort, increase your ability to tolerate distress, and, through learning the blocks that you have, allows those blocks to get out of your way. Because you are compassionately doing so, this process uniquely sets you up to be in a more regulated space to process your most painful memories and body-sense memories, or moments that you may not recall, but experience intense sensation and emotion-based triggers from. IFS-therapy is also about empowerment and equity: the therapist is not ordering or instructing you, but gently passing along the skills of compassion, capability, so that you can eventually look at all of your parts with observation, clarity, or from a place of self-love, meaning that you can witness your needs and support them in regulating and calming.
How Does IFS Therapy Work?
IFS therapy is less about fixing. Yes, I said it. As someone entering therapy, that can be a hard idea to grapple with. The problem with fixing means, well, that you’re broken and you are not broken.
IFS instead looks at the strengths and capabilities that you have built over time and how those have helped you to survive. You have found strategies to function in your day-to-day life, as well as tactics to ignore pain. As much as that pain can be kept at bay, it can still creep up on you, surprise, and overwhelm you.
How Long Does IFS Therapy Take?
Though I know it can be frustrating to hear, there is no prescriptive timeline with IFS therapy. The reality is: every person is different in therapy. For some, it takes time to build trust. That trust-building phase can involve: getting to know each other, focusing on managing daily, overwhelming crises, and building skills that support you in understanding how your body is responding when it is in crisis. Tapping into and tuning into your body’s reactions and signals, over time, supports greater awareness and understanding, but also enough distance for you to begin analyzing how these parts of you are functioning within you and how they function when you are interacting with others—ultimately, getting into this phase of therapy is what supports long-term growth and healing. At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we are here to support you every step of the way.
What is the Process of IFS Therapy?
Building safety, trust, and grounding in your body.
Understanding your parts.
Befriending your protectors.
Helping protectors unburden themselves (make it okay for them to feel less guarded).
Unburdening exiles (exploring their wounds safely and compassionately).
Reparenting your exiles.
Empowering the Self.
At the beginning of IFS therapy, you may be able to identify your protectors (the parts of you that work hard to prevent feeling pain), what they need to get more space and distance, and begin exploring the most wounded parts of you that are the most protected and blocked. Having skills to ground, anchor, and regulate you are critical during this time.
As you build your capacity to connect with and care for these wounded parts, without criticism and judgment, you slowly unburden and befriend those protectors. This means that those parts of you, those defenses that are afraid to back down and unlock your most vulnerable self, slowly start to feel safer about tuning into your deeper emotions, noticing those vulnerable emotions, and being okay with allowing those feelings to be present.
As you deepen your attention to past pain and hurt parts of you, you also practice the skills of reparenting. Reparenting involves both enhancing self-love while also giving to yourself the gifts of nurture, curiosity, delight, and protection that were not received from a parent in the way you needed. As you increasingly provide this compassion for yourself, you unlock more glimmers of joy in other parts of your life, witness your resources, and find enhanced empowerment. As you work with your trauma therapist to move towards the final stage of IFS therapy, you find new intrinsic self-esteem, self-worth, and growth through what is typically referred to as self-energy.
Does IFS Therapy Work Better Online or In-Person?
There is not really a hard and fast answer (ugh, I know, NOT what you wanted to see). IFS therapy can work online just as well as it can work in person. When deciding what works well for you, you may want to consider a few factors:
Do you have a private space in which to engage in trauma-based therapy, to discuss deep, personal details without fear of that privacy being infringed upon?
Do you have reliable access to the internet and virtual tools (phone, computer, etc)?
Do you have safety concerns for yourself for which being in person might feel safer, and having a therapist in person to support you with regulating your body and building more immediate, crisis-based interventions would be critical?
Are you someone who is avoidant, and telehealth may be a tool for you to hide some of your needs and emotions?
Do you simply feel more comfortable with engaging virtually? Or the opposite? Do you simply feel more comfortable engaging in person, and does doing therapy online freak you out?
IFS can happen either way, but the bottom line is: what is going to meet your needs best? When it comes to supporting your growth, helping you heal, and addressing any potential crises, you and your therapist may be continually evaluating whether online or in-person therapy will be more appropriate. And remember, if you ever feel uncomfortable with either option, you can always discuss this with your therapist and problem-solve a solution that meets your needs, together.
Get Started with IFS Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we provide gentle, trauma-informed care to help you regain a sense of safety, reconnect with your inner resilience, and rediscover the parts of yourself that were lost along the way. Using approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS), we create a supportive space where healing unfolds at your pace—with compassion, understanding, and trust at the center of every session.
Here’s how to start your journey:
Click below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call.
Complete a short pre-consultation form to help us learn more about your goals.
Meet with trauma therapist Alice Zic to explore how therapy can support your healing.
Begin the process of recovery with compassionate, IFS-based childhood trauma therapy.
Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Online therapy can be an accessible and effective way to begin your journey with childhood trauma therapy. As a Virginia-licensed therapist, I provide virtual sessions for clients living anywhere in the state, allowing you to receive care from the comfort and privacy of your own home. All you need is a quiet space, an internet connection, and a device—and you’re ready to start. No commute, no traffic, no added stress—just a safe, convenient space for healing. Schedule your free consultation call below to get started.
Other Therapy Services We Offer at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
Beyond our focus on childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy also offers virtual therapy for teen anxiety in CT, VA, and LA, as well as in-person therapy in New Orleans. Whether you are managing the impact of parentification, your teen’s emotional overwhelm, or recovery from childhood neglect, we provide a compassionate, judgment-free space for healing—available to you in Connecticut, Virginia, and Louisiana!
About Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Trauma Therapist in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker located in New Orleans, Louisiana. She provides online therapy throughout Louisiana, Connecticut and Virginia, and in-person therapy in New Orleans. She is a trauma therapist who specializes in helping perfectionist, mother wounded women heal from childhood trauma and become confident, capable adults. Alice is an attachment-based therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a trauma-informed and evidence-based modality that supports healing the mind and body, while also allowing for reparenting wounded and, critical, and hurt parts of you. Alice uses IFS in conjunction with other trauma-focused techniques, including elements of ego states therapy. Ego states therapy supports building internal skills and nurture towards yourself. If you would like to learn more about Alice, please click here. If you would like to work with Alice, please click here to schedule your free consult call today.