When Nurture Was Replaced With Withdrawal: Exploring Maternal Stonewalling in Trauma Therapy in Falls Church, VA
What is stonewalling?
Emotional stonewalling is known as the silent treatment. In essence, this occurs when, growing up, you got upset, angry, or brought up your needs and wants to your mom, and if it was not in line with what she wanted, she would just…ignore you. It’s likely that she would ignore you until you apologized, groveled, or begged for her love and attention back. It filled you with so much fear, dread, and anxiety that is was simply miserable. Through childhood trauma therapy in Falls Church, VA, you can begin to heal from the lasting effects of this emotional withdrawal.
Why does maternal stonewalling matter?
Maternal stonewalling is a sign of growing up with an emotionally immature mother, and it can impact your own emotional wellness throughout your development. Growing up with a mom who exhibits this behavior can also be a sign that you have a mother wound.
What is a mother wound?
A mother wound is a lack of mothering. It occurs when you are raised by or are disconnected from an emotionally immature or absent mother. This may be a mom who was neglectful, highly critical, controlling, entitled, self-absorbed, passive, and/or emotionally, physically, and/or sexually abusive. These wounds typically begin in early childhood, during the early developmental years before you learn to speak, and are also marked by a lack of certain qualities in your relationship, including delight, curiosity, nurture, guidance, and structure/protection. Working with a childhood trauma therapist can help you begin to understand these early wounds and start the healing process.
From Maternal Stonewalling to Self-Abandonment and Conflict Avoidance
When you experience maternal stonewalling in childhood, it isn’t just something that happens to you; it also becomes something that you learn to turn on yourself as well. The key is the profound, deep, silencing feeling of abandonment. You learn to ignore and neglect yourself when you are sick, when you feel excited, when you are about to cry, when you want to scream out of anger. You eventually learn to shut down. You then learn to mirror this in relationships. You show up for everyone else, entertain them, but continually abandon yourself, building and bubbling up your emotions, while resentment and exhaustion brew inside you. Abandoning yourself can be connected with low self-esteem and can put you at risk for toxic friendships and abusive relationships. It also means that, rather than navigating the ups and downs of conflict and learning that relationships can be okay on the other side of conflict, you probably learned to fear anger and conflict because it became associated with stonewalling and…abandonment.
What are signs that you experienced maternal stonewalling in childhood?
Struggling with conflict.
Avoidance of big/uncomfortable emotions.
Struggling to take care of yourself at times (like when feeling down, sick, etc).
Finding receiving care or being taken care of intolerable.
Self-abandonment.
History of toxic or abusive relationships.
Persistent feeling of deep loneliness.
Difficulty identifying emotions.
Growing up with an emotionally immature mother may leave you feeling like you struggle to identify your emotions, communicate them to the people you care about, and then navigate misunderstandings or conflict. This is absolutely normal when it comes to having a history of emotional stonewalling and mother wounding. And the great thing is that with tools like childhood trauma therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, you can give yourself these skills now, expand your capacity for navigating the hard moments in life, find peace and ease, and tackle things head-on instead of avoiding them.
Begin Healing with Childhood Trauma Therapy at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we provide trauma-informed, compassionate care to help you restore a sense of safety, reconnect with your inner strength, and rediscover your authentic self. Healing is possible—and you don’t have to do it alone.
Here’s how to start your journey:
Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation using the link below.
Complete a short pre-consultation form to help us understand your goals and needs.
Meet with trauma therapist Alice Zic to explore how therapy can best support your healing.
Begin your path toward recovery with compassionate childhood trauma therapy designed to help you feel safe, grounded, and whole again.
Online Childhood Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Beginning therapy online can be a simple, accessible way to start healing from childhood trauma. As a licensed therapist in Virginia, I work with clients across the state—offering professional, trauma-informed care from the comfort and privacy of your own space.
All you need is a quiet place, an internet connection, and your device to begin. No commute, no stress—just compassionate support that fits your schedule. Schedule your free consultation call below to get started:
More Virtual Therapy Services at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy
In addition to our work with childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy provides virtual therapy for teen anxiety and related emotional challenges. Whether you’re coping with the effects of parentification, supporting your teen through emotional overwhelm, or healing from childhood neglect, we offer a compassionate, nonjudgmental space to guide that process. Our online sessions are available to clients in Connecticut, Virginia, and Louisiana, making quality care accessible wherever you are.
Meet Alice Zic, Licensed Childhood Trauma Therapist in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed clinical social worker providing therapy in Louisiana, Connecticut, and Virginia. As a trauma therapist, she specializes in helping perfectionistic, mother-wounded women heal from childhood trauma and grow into confident, empowered adults.
Alice’s approach is attachment-based and grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS)—a trauma-informed, evidence-based model that supports deep emotional and mental healing.
To learn more about Alice and her work, click here. To begin your healing journey, schedule a free consultation call today.