You Took Care of Everyone—But Who Took Care of You? Trauma Therapy for Parentification in Falls Church, VA
You have always been the responsible one, the “old soul.” You never asked for help. You just figured it out. It never occurred to you that asking for help might be an option (maybe it never felt like an option). But recently, you noticed another thing, too. You noticed that even feeling your emotions, expressing them, and letting them out has been hard. You usually like to just take care of everyone else and keep all of your own stuff bottled up. Sometimes, you prefer to fix everything and be productive. And, if you can’t be productive about your feelings, then why bother?
It is common for those who grew up parentified to feel this way as adults. Let’s dive into parentification and how a trauma therapist in Falls Church, VA, can help!
What is parentification?
Parentification is a role reversal in which a child in a family system takes on an adult role before it is developmentally appropriate to do so.
Examples of parentification can include:
Providing logistical care/support (cooking, cleaning, paying bills, language interpretation, health care navigation, tax prep)
Providing emotional support to younger siblings and/or parent(s) (acting like a parent’s parent, acting like a parent’s best friend, and being criticized or punished when not meeting the expectations of this role)
When adults in a family are emotionally immature, have high external stress, and unmet internal needs, they are less able to look at their children as their children. This means that the skills and space to offer guidance, protection, and nurture are not as available. Instead, adults in these situations tend to look to their children as equals, turning to their children to meet their needs.
How does parentification show up in adulthood?
Parentification can be an insidious and long-standing part of you, existing from a very young time in your childhood. In adulthood, it can show up as:
Perfectionism
People-pleasing
Feeling as though you have a lack of identity, interests, and/or hobbies
The fear of being your true self
Struggling with vulnerability
Imposter syndrome
Burnout
Constantly caregiving for others, while also struggling to be taken care of
Self-abandonment
How does trauma therapy help to heal parentification?
Childhood trauma therapy, particularly with a modality like Internal Family Systems (IFS), focuses on building compassion and self-love towards the parentified part of you that had to exist in order to maintain relationships in your family and survive. There is a strong chance that it even provided you with strengths that allowed you to succeed in various other areas of your life. What IFS also allows for, however, is dealing with the fear and sorrow that can come with coming to terms with the parts of you that did not get to grow, or what might change if you do face the pain underneath your parentified past. This supports you in building grounding and safety so that change is not overwhelming and so that growth (and grief) arrive in waves that feel manageable and tolerable.
IFS also brings opportunities to build the identity that you wanted to, and could not, explore before! At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we invite opportunities to look at what your inner child needed, yearned for, and how you wanted to play, and we can find outlets for that now through new hobbies and activities. There is a great deal of joy and discovery that lies ahead, too.
Work with a Trauma Therapist at Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy in Falls Church, VA
Alice Zic, MPH, LCSW | Trauma Therapist & Owner of Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, LLC
Connect with a Trauma Therapist in Falls Church, VA
If you grew up feeling more like the caretaker than the child, that early responsibility can leave deep emotional imprints, shaping how you relate, trust, and care for yourself today. Working with a trauma therapist in Falls Church, VA, can help you untangle those patterns, honor your own needs, and begin to heal the parts of you that had to grow up too soon. At Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy, we offer compassionate, trauma-informed support for those ready to reclaim their sense of self.
Here’s how to begin your healing:
Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation phone call.
Complete the pre-consult questions.
Consult with trauma therapist, Alice Zic.
Begin your journey toward healing parentification with childhood trauma therapy.
Online Therapy for Parentification in Falls Church, Virginia
My virtual practice is located in Falls Church, Virginia, but as a therapist licensed in Virginia, I offer online therapy to residents of the entire state. Therapy for parentification can be much less complicated this way. You can join your sessions right from the comfort of your home. It is simple and easy! Book your free intro call below to get started!
Broader Therapy Services Available in Falls Church, VA, and Colchester, CT
Beyond our specialization in childhood trauma, Nurturing Willow Psychotherapy also offers virtual therapy for issues like teen anxiety and the lasting effects of parentification. Whether you're navigating emotional overwhelm or learning to set boundaries, we offer a supportive, nonjudgmental space where healing can begin—wherever you are located.
About Alice Zic, Trauma Therapist for Parentification in Virginia
Alice Zic is a licensed trauma therapist in Connecticut and Virginia. She specializes in helping parentified children of immigrants let go of the pressure and guilt that defined their youth and embrace the fullness of their authentic identities now. Alice is an attachment-based therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a trauma-informed and evidence-based modality that supports healing the mind and body, while also building compassion towards pressure and perfectionism that is common to parentification. If you would like to learn more about Alice, please click here. If you would like to work with Alice, please click here to schedule your free consult call today.